And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
