You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize