i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
