My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
