my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
