when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
