she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
