Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
