I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize