Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
