All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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