why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
