DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
