I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize