Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
