I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
no, he came in my armpit
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
