Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize