my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize