I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
