Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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