Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
