Non-Jews are for practice
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
