you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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