I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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