we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
