Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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