she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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