There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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