I feel like abortions should bother me more
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My vagina is very pro this idea
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