He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize