If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
