so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You took a bar mat shot.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
