Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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