I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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