I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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