felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
