Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
