The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
