covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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