I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
