i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize