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Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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