Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
