This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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