Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
