...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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