She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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