you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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