birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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