STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize