they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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