I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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