Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
