Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
