If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
