Can i not drive my cunt home
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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