He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
