Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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