I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
