You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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