I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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