You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
