the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
