my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize