why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
