Sry I called you an 8
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
