two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
